Now, those who have followed my posts for from the beginning. You’ll realize that I haven’t talked about mental health issues.
There is a section on this website that is dedicated to mental health, however it’s not yet complete.
I’ve never seen a psychologist or a psychiatrist. I have referrals from doctors who think I should go due to all the medical hell I’ve been put through but I keep telling myself I will go when it’s all over. However the road keeps getting longer and more bumps have started to form.
I have a major issue with anxiety. To what extent? I don’t know.
Honestly, I have no problem no problem with public speaking. I’ve literally gone through all of high school and college being a volunteer to go first. I don’t have much stress in skating competitions and if it is there, it’s not severe.
However the anxiety I do get, comes from being anxious. Whether it’s not knowing if someone will bail on you, waiting for grades at school and being convinced you failed even though you passed every test etc.
I have noticed the anxiety doesn’t start right away but it builds up fast. And gets to an uncontrollable point.
Sometimes it’s like being attached to a heavy weight and thrown into an ocean where you have to swim back to the top.
Other times it’s like tying a rope around a piano and grabbing one end trying to pull it to the other side of the room.
This past week I’ve suffered many breakdowns. I know it’s a mixture of being exhausted (getting back from Vegas + jet lag), hormones (guess what hell is coming my way this week 😅) and anxiety/stress from school issues, family, health problems etc.
I am doing my best to pull through and have friends (2 especially) who are helping me along the way.