Reward of setting goals with an illness

Blank Pain Stare?

Do you know what that is?

When you are in so much pain you cannot laugh or cry. All you can do is stare blankly at nothing and wait for the pain to pass…whether it takes hours or weeks. Sometimes sleep temporarily helps, other times nothing..and I mean nothing helps.

Sometimes when the pain gets too much you just want to stand far back from people, isolate, not talk or even give eye contact. If you are with others it can be deemed as socially awkward and at times it becomes very hard to explain.

When pain takes over; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually it becomes a burden on not only your body, but on everyone else. However, those who truly care…will love and support you.

Fibromyalgia is one disease I have been very open about from the start of being diagnosed. Now even though I suffer from many of the symptoms…the worst is the chronic fatigue.

What does chronic fatigue do?

-It makes you overtired, where a good nights sleep does not help. Sleeping 12+ hours also won’t help.

(Side Note: the only way I am able to ‘recover’ is taking some heavy pain killers and having a deep sleep several nights in a row. It makes me groggy, but after a while it temporarily disappears).—not recommended.

Chronic Fatigue also causes memory loss, muscle pain and even pain that moves throughout the body.

While these symptoms flare, it becomes difficult to get through a ‘normal’ day, full of tasks.

At times, it makes activities like going to school very difficult.

I am currently a university student, completing my second year in university. What you don’t know is, how difficult it is to get to class’s, focus and be motivated. Classes I do get too, knock me down and at night and I struggle to get things done.

And, I am not even taking into account the other activities I do in a day.

<<However, I look at this diagnosis as a blessing.>>

Hear me out: There are many worse things in the world. Not even related to illnesses. But these illnesses are part of my story; but not my life. I use this website to inform others, educate and help myself recover.

One thing I’ve realized, which was the whole reason I started this post. Was when I get told I should be bribed to do stuff and rewarded. While getting some money or new things is nice…

<<My reward in life is being able to accomplish the things I am with these illnesses and being able to educate and inspire others while doing it.>>

I will admit, before everything happened I took life for-granted. I was never eating properly, over-scheduling, rarely sleeping… Basically anything one can do wrong, I was doing. Then it bit me in the ass. And getting the confirmation that I had these illnesses (especially fibromyalgia), it forced me to sit down and re-evaluate my life before the symptoms got worse or became irreversible.

Now for those who are suffering with anything (diagnosed or not) you are not alone! If nobody else believes you… I do.

For those not suffering, have an open mind and an open ear to those who are. They are fighting more than you can imagine. Don’t judge and don’t take life for-granted. You never know when/if you will become one of us.

Click Here: To view my article “Paingry: the effect pain has on mood.”

You can also check my list of illnesses to view more information on fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome.




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