About two weeks ago, I did my second competition of the season. It was in Magog, Quebec.
Now. For those who know about last season. Know that the only reason I returned to Magog was to get over a fear.
For those who do not know what happened. I was not ready to come back from the spine injury. And barely had time to recover. I decided to try and jump right into the season. And I did. However, during the warmup I blacked out and fell really hard head first into the ice. I was not able to stand up and was helped off the ice. I withdrew from the competition. While withdrawing was necessary it did make me fearful.
This threw me off balance for weeks. Even two competitions later I was still shaking and not wanting to skate them. It burned a fear into me.
While I continued with the season and having up and down skates. I still had a doubt in my head about what had happened and how I went down.
So. For the second competition of the season. I decided to go back to this arena and skate and get over the fear.
The competition was at 10:45 am on October 20th. Which means I had to wake up at ass o’clock to be there.
I drove nearly two hours to get to the rink. With on break to pee and get food/gas.
I registered myself in. And I went to the dressing room.
My legs from the Fibromyalgia were hurting. But.. I was not worried. I knew it was more from the stress then anything.
I got dressed and walked around the rink.
With Fibro and Endo and how my body reacts to stress. I am not good with warming up before competitions. The adrenaline in the warmup is enough to get me going and I have never once had a problem.
Finally, they were getting ready for my category. We were 4 groups warming up since we were not that many skaters.
Our names were called.
I stepped on the ice.
I did two circles around the ice just bending my knees and getting a feel for the ice.
There was some anxiety remembering the year before, but honestly I was much better off then I thought.
I did some jumps and spins. Nothing extreme but just enough to get a feel for the ice before I started skating around again and doing some edges.
Now, like the last competition I was the first to go.
My music started. I started a tad bit late but nothing extreme. My first jump was coming up. Usually I do one… but I decided to do a combo I have not thrown in yet this season.
BUT… WHILE I did that. I was not thinking and I blanked that I did that. (I will come back to this).
Next up was my spin. I spun so much I was actually dizzy. And this never happens. I had trouble for about 30 seconds to become non-dizzy and in that span I had another jump AND a footwork. So by the end of the footwork I was back to normal and then I had a new spin.
Now first the footwork went okay. But I thought I struggled more through it. Like I had a lot more trouble carrying through each step. My body felt as if it were 1000+ pounds.
My second spin, I fell out of it but I managed to hold it enough. I thought for sure it would be called a V-but thankfully looking at the results it wasn’t.
After that spin. My legs were dead. I had two more jumps to go. But the problem was…I couldn’t.
I skated around and was going to go into the jump but my body screamed at me. So i did a 3-turn and held the ending.
I added some skating skills and knee bending exercises. Then I threw myself into jump #3.
I was going to end it, but I felt guilty so with about ten seconds remaining of the program I threw myself into that jump and just ended my program.
The last two jumps were almost side by side. But I just needed the points I did not care about the components.
I got off the ice. I had trouble breathing. My face was dark red. I went straight to the dressing room when usually I stay and watch other competitors.
But this time. I did not care.
I was just happy I got through the program and I was still standing up and not being helped off the ice.
That was the main goal. And I smashed my goal and was happy.
I had a bunch of points lost throughout the program. But it was minor like 0.02 on my first element. Which was that combo jump.
It was only when I got the paper, did I realize I did that combo jump.
I lost some marks on my footwork. It was -0.25 which was better than the week before. It is improving. And with the way I felt like I skated, I thought this would be a lot worse.
I did loose credit for my third jump. It was marked at 0. Had I had that jump I would have got the same score as the week before. Instead, I ended up with 11.43 overall.
Still coming first overall.
While I love competing. I was having trouble with an injury that I was keeping quiet. My knee had been bothering me. So I was grateful to have two weeks off to heal the injury.
The week of November 4th, is my next competition. I am ready for it. But I am worried the knee injury will hinder it.
Click Here to read about the knee injury.
Deidre Matthews 