Competition Number 5 was on November 23rd, 2019.

This time my (dance) coach and I headed out to the middle of nowhere to get a second opinion.

It was in Farnham. So legit an arena in the middle of the bush.

Now, this week. I have been having severe pain with my knees. While I have a torn meniscus on my right knee that is getting constant treatments for and will probably need surgery for. This was not the biggest problem. Because I am walking on it and not using crutches or protecting it, my left knee is becoming really bad. It is hurting a lot. And so is my groin/hip on the right side.

My chiropractor says I am favoring it too much, which is why surgery will likely be the best option.

Because of this. I missed 3/4 practices during the week. I spent most of the week using crutches and staying off it. Heating and Ice therapy along with electro therapy.

Friday night I went into meltdown mode. Like I was beyond broken. I am so tired of having to rebuild my body and confidence and I was honestly at the break of wanting to cut myself.

I was talking it out with my coach and he managed to calm me down.

The next day I woke up and I was still sour. I did not wanna do anything. I spent most of the morning crying. Eventually, I decided to get my ass on the ice before the competition. This was mainly to decide the pain and see the how the knee brace would hold up.

Honestly, the 30 minutes on the ice alone helped me a lot. It took away my mood and put me into a neutral mood.

I only did half an hour in order to save some energy for the competition.

I left right away to the rink, in the middle of nowhere. About 3 hours early. But I figured I would do some physio and therapy.

I got to the rink. Registered and right away got dressed. Then I went around to watch some programs.

My coach showed up not long after. We watched some programs together.

Eventually it was time to put my skates on.

I just walked up and down and we were focusing on keeping the knee brace secured.

It was time for the warmup.

I found it went well, and got nervous because when warmups go well, solos don’t.

At the end of the warmup I got off the ice. I was second to skate.

I stayed focused and readjusted my knee brace.

At the end of the other skater’s solo. I stepped on the ice and stayed with my coach until my name was called. Which took a longer time then normal.

When it was I skated to the center and waited. My music started. And I started.

First element was done. And I found clean.

Second element was my spin. I had fun with it. First competition it was solid but I was not dizzy.

Up next I went to the corner and did my second jump.

I was a bit early so I slowed down. (Which I learned scared my coach a bit. As I have a history of non-epileptic seizures). He though another one would be happening.

But I kicked off my foot work on time. I skated down the ice. And while there was a bit of toe-picks it was actually solid from one end to the next.

After I went into my combo spin. This was tough for me. I thought it was okay. But in the results, I got my “V” back. Which I worked so hard to get it off after last season.

I went around into my third jump. It was fine. And a little later I had my fourth jump, which I did not feel like it jumped. So I was expecting it to get invalid. But I have a habit of not having feelings in my body.

I skated off the ice. I was happy with how I did. But now it was up to the judges to decide.

I took off my skates and then we went upstairs to sit and watch and wait.

About 30 minutes later the results came out.

I was happy with my overall but it was not my highest. However with my spin being downgraded and it was costly.

I came first place at this competition. With despite everything I went through during the week it was an accomplishment in itself.

Next competition is coming up in a few days.

This will be 4/4 in a row. The grueling part of the season.

My goal is not to miss practices and to focus on the V on the spin.

I have a reputation coming to the next competition so I cannot loose it.